Growing up in Mexico is a blessing that I have always cherished. Playing in the corn field behind our backyard, going to the posadas during the Advent season, and praying the rosary with my family are some of the beautiful memories of my childhood. One grace that I am particularly grateful for is the devotion to Our Lady of Guadalupe. My mom had a traditional Mexican image in a wooden frame, covered with glass, in front of which we used to pray our rosary most nights. It was not always a quiet and recollected rosary since there were seven of us, and most times we struggled to stay quiet or even to turn off the TV to pray. However, my mom persevered and never gave up on us. When I was sixteen years old, we emigrated to the States, and we brought the image with us.
About eight years after our arrival, I lost my mother to cancer, and the void left in my heart was very palpable. She was at the heart of our family keeping us united. A few years after her death, I met our CFR community. One of the things that really struck me during my first visit was the devotion to Our Lady of Guadalupe. As the patroness of our community, we keep her image in our chapels, and we pray the rosary in common every night. “This is like the way I grew up with my family -the rosary and Our Lady of Guadalupe -I feel at home,” I thought, as I reflected on my first visit. I entered that same year. During this particular time of formation, I struggled with all the cultural changes of living out my vocation. Then the first Feast of Our Lady of Guadalupe came around, and I felt invited to consecrate my vocation to Our Lady. She surprised me with a Mariachi serenade and a big Mexican Fiesta for our community celebration. That was awesome! It was as if she had given me a sign – “I am with you, I know you.” This was just the beginning of a desire to grow in a personal relationship with her, now in the context of my vocation.
Last year, I decided to renew my consecration to Our Lady, and the time coincided with a difficult experience I was going through. During this time Our Lady showed up. She became my refuge, and she invited me to totally embrace the gift of her motherhood. This is when I realized I was just beginning to open the gift that was given to me as a child by my mother. Our Lady had been filling the void my mom’s death left in my heart. I was drawn to pray in front of her image. I started to spend time just contemplating her face so tender, and with child-like features, but above all so motherly. When I entered our community sixteen years ago, I brought a simple wooden-framed image of Our Lady of Guadalupe that I have kept with me all these years. I try to pray in front of this image every day. When I need something, I physically place my hands into her hands in the image and I say to her, “Please help me Mother.” This is an inspiration from my younger brother Javier, who used to do this with my mom.
Our Lady’s words to Juan Diego on the Hill of Tepeyac, “Am I not here, I who am your mother?” have become a reality for me, and my relationship with Our Lady has become a source of joy, consolation, hope, and dependence. Sometimes my prayer times are quiet, and other times I struggle with distractions, but when I look up, there she is, and I realize I am under her gaze. She has never changed, but I have; my heart has become open to receive the gift of her motherhood, of her tenderness. I again feel this childlike desire to entrust my afflictions, my inadequacies, my fears, but also my joys, my gratitude to her... She is always available, and her constant affection makes me feel so loved.
It is out of this personal experience that I invite you to enter in a relationship with Our Blessed Mother. She who says, “Are you not under my shadow and protection? Am I not life and health? Are you not on my lap and under my care? Do you need anything else?” These are words that continue to resound in every aspect of daily life. But they are also an invitation to receive Our Mother and to let her be our constant companion. To let her be our consolation and our joy. Sometimes, we, like Juan Diego, feel inadequate to fulfill our mission, vocation, job, etc… It is then we need to hear her words, “Listen my dearest son… it is very fitting that you do this…” These words are a reminder that she is with us, that she will help us, and that she will provide. Our posture of total dependence on Our Lady is pleasing to her. Because as an earthly mother is drawn to care for the needs of her baby, who totally depends on her, how much more so with our heavenly Mother! She will draw close to us to help us.
As we approach this Feast of Our Lady of Guadalupe, let us rejoice with grateful hearts that God so deigned to give us a tender and loving mother. Let us open our hearts to receive the gift of her motherhood and live out of the reality that we are beloved daughters and sons of Our Blessed Mother! If you are not living out of this reality, I assure you that if you give Our Lady an opportunity, she will not disappoint you. Sr. Guadalupe, CFR
Our Lady of Guadalupe, Cause of our Joy, pray for us!
